Build a bibliography or works cited page the easy way
Ability to observe people or to have certain experiences without their creating negative thoughts, attitudes and emotions within us. Subscribe to Videos Discuss. Guidelines for the inpatient treatment of severely malnourished children. Excessive statement making or a lack of question asking. Silent rebellion thought, attitude, emotion. By the time it arrives in the country and gets to people, many will have died.
Latest Health Headlines
Hurricane Florence flooding brings health risks. People benefit from just 13 minutes of exercise, study finds. Genetically modified mosquitoes could eradicate malaria. Amazing advancements against cancer, but not everyone benefits. FDA calls e-cigarettes 'an epidemic' among minors. Barbara Feder Ostrov on her Prudence Hall story.
How one mom changed an organ transplant policy to save her dying daughter. Can you give up added sugar for a whole month? Doctors providing opioids without proper documentation: Olivia Newton-John reveals that her breast cancer has returned. Why Jennifer Garner's nutritionist starts every day with a smoothie. Latest Health Headlines Sep Niece Days before het release from prison, fears about whether a woman who helped in the kidnapping of then-teenager Elizabeth Smart remains a threat and Infection, electrocution and injury: Florence's floodwaters may carry hidden dangers Floodwaters carry hidden risks that cause electrocution, injury and infection.
Kids, teen, college student mental health problems on the rise A new WHO report adds to a wave of studies about teen mental health problems.
Las Vegas shooting survivors, health care providers reunite Survivors of the mass shooting in Las Vegas have reunited with the doctors and nurses who cared for them at an area hospital after the massacre. New US survey shows some progress against opioid crisis A U. Lawsuit aims to block Trump 'short-term' health plans Patient advocates sue to block Trump administration's 'short-term' health insurance plans. FDA plans meeting to discuss safety data on breast implants U.
Zimbabwe's government criticized over cholera outbreak Zimbabwe's government criticized over cholera outbreak that has killed 25, spread from capital. Some Bob Evans sausage links recalled, may contain plastic The Agriculture Department says Bob Evans Farms is recalling nearly 47, pounds of pork sausage links because they might contain pieces of plastic. No progress as US, Cuba meet on mysterious 'health attacks' Cuba said Thursday the United States is continuing to withhold important information that could help in the investigation into mysterious incidents Funds for Florida health insurance helpers cut by millions The Trump administration has slashed funding for the second year in a row for counselors who help consumers sign up for health insurance through the Long-term effects of ADHD?
Study links disorder to Parkinson's, but don't be alarmed It's the first study to relate the conditions, but it doesn't prove causality. Inside the effort to protect the elderly Perhaps no other population is as vulnerable during a hurricane as older adults. Genetically modified mosquitoes could eradicate malaria Since only female mosquitoes bite and transmit malaria, these lab-grown sterile male insects will not be able to multiply or spread the disease.
Amazing advancements against cancer, but not everyone benefits More people have cancer than ever before, but because of advancements in treatment, those people are living longer. Dozens of high fever deaths cause panic in northern India Health authorities are rushing medical supplies to northern towns and villages. FDA calls e-cigarettes 'an epidemic' among minors The use of e-cigarettes has become an "epidemic" among children, according to the U. Food and Drug Administration. How to navigate the fertility apps, wearables that promise to help you get pregnant There are more than apps on the market for women tracking fertility.
Child abuse and neglect are seen as a failure of the caregivers to provide both physical nurturing and emotional support for those who have been placed in their care. Child abuse can occur when the caregiver treats a child in a negative way in order to win the approval of an authority figure whether it is a person or a thing.
Some victims of child abuse never recover and develop addictions or turn to crime, never finding peace Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to see the truth that we are not responsible for how our caregivers raised us, then begin to see ourselves as children of God instead of as just our caregivers' children Co-dependent relationship behaviour Almost any human relationship can become co-dependent.
It stops being supportive when it starts preventing independent thought and action. Shows a lack of trust either for self or the other person in the relationship Spiritual effects of the pattern: Unable or unwilling to be self-sufficient Physical effects of the pattern: Learn about meditating in a new way, to find the root cause of the need to be in co-dependent relationship s. Visit WikiHow to learn to recognize co-dependent relationships Compassion attitude, emotion Feeling deep concern, caring for another in their time of need, without any desire to control them or change their circumstances in any way.
Compassion allows others to work through experiences in their own way, in their own time, giving assistance only when invited. The type of challenge depends on the circumstances under which the statement was made, but rest assured, triggers will be presented to test our resolve and our understanding.
This is in accordance with the Universal spiritual law of free will Condemnation thought Declaring a punishment for someone we have found guilty of something. Indicates that judgment and criticism have taken place. See resentment , revenge Sounds like:: Rolling our eyes can indicate that judgment and criticism have just taken place Spiritual effects of the pattern: Difficulty giving - or allowing others to receive - recognition or praise Physical effects of the pattern: Chronic condemnation can result in lots of choking, arthritis , multiple sclerosis and other neuro-musculo-skeletal disorders.
It can also set up a fear of success that causes us to unconsciously underperform How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn why our self-esteem failed. Profound self-acceptance can be gained, based in the recognition that we are all just human, at varying stages of soul development, with strengths and weaknesses, sometimes doing well and sometimes poorly Confirmation bias attitude Tendency to seek and interpret information that confirms our existing beliefs and enables us to repeat harmful, negative behaviours.
The pattern contributes to the development of chronic diseases and also inhibits spiritual growth Contempt attitude Tendency to consider self or others unworthy of respect , patience , tolerance or compassion. Shows that judgment and criticism have taken place. Occurs along with arrogance , condemnation and scorn Sounds like: Unable or unwilling to acknowledge efforts of others Physical effects of the pattern: Forcing our help upon another when it has not been invited Asking God for favours for someone else - after all - they might not want or need what we think they want or need, even including healing some people want to be sick - for them, their illness meets some need In disagreements, bringing up the past can be a way to gain control of the situation see memory Adoptive parents can use guilt trips as a means of gaining or maintaining control over their charges no matter their age.
For example, "If it weren't for us, you'd be an orphan. It is also control to pretend that we know everything Practical jokes are a form of control - it's just not funny to ridicule someone for not knowing what we know Stealing someone's attention, no matter the motive We allow ourselves to be controlled when we do what someone has told us to do even if we do not want to do it see blame , victim Sounds like: Let me do it perfectionism.
Call me when you get home so I don't have to worry. Not letting others have their way or do things their way can make them want to avoid doing things with us Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn the source of our need to be in charge.
Before telling someone else what to do, think of how it feels when someone tells us what to do Criticism thought, attitude Giving an unkind comment about self or another, whether spoken aloud or not, whether invited or not.
Chronic unhappiness and unable or unwilling to give praise or positive feedback Physical effects of the pattern: Skin disorders, joint problems and immune system deterioration How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn the source of our need to make self or others feel inferior Dawdling behaviour Act of revenge designed to annoy someone by delaying doing that which we have been asked to do.
See avoidance , victim Spiritual effects of the pattern: Chronic unhappiness that they want us to hurry Physical effects of the pattern: Low blood pressure , hormone imbalances How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn the source of the desire to anger others Déjà vu thought, emotion This experience is a bridge between reality and thought.
It is given to let us know that we are in the right place at the right time, and that everything is on track. Can also indicate that a lesson is about to be presented, so pay attention. Meditate to practice hearing our thoughts Denial thought, behaviour Unable or unwilling to face the Truth about self, our prior actions, painful experiences, thoughts, attitudes, emotions, beliefs or desires.
Denial and avoidance go hand-in-hand. Denial prevents us from accepting responsibility for our thoughts, words and deeds and can create the need to blame any misfortune on anyone or anything else Sounds like: Seeming to be beyond reproach can create stubborn self-righteousness Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn the source of our need to make others feel that our motives are beyond reproach, or that we have never had, or caused, a negative experience Distress emotion Severe discomfort, be it physical, emotional or spiritual, coupled with a feeling that something needs to be done, but not knowing what it is or how to do it.
Long-term distress can become anxiety Sounds like: I just know something horrible is going to happen Spiritual effects of the pattern: Inability to relax or feel comfortable Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn the source of our fears Distrust thought, attitude, emotion Lack of faith or confidence, in self, in God, in others. There is a fine line between trust and distrust of others.
Too much trust in others' goodwill can lead to disappointment and disillusionment. We can even place ourselves in harm's way if relying too much on the goodness of others.
Chronic distrust can isolate us, prevent us from learning to work together toward a common goal, and lead to feelings of persecution. Distrust can come from a blanket condemnation of humanity Sounds like: Can result in severe allergies , hoarding How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn the source of the need to live in fear and isolation Double standard attitude Form of condemnation that punishes one person or group for a certain behaviour but allows it for another, as a result of having judged them as being less worthy Spiritual effects of the pattern: Arrogance , blame , self-righteousness Physical effects of the pattern: Severe allergies , fibromyalgia How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn humility Dread thought, emotion Fear that all of our life experiences will be negative Spiritual effects of the pattern: Chronic pessimism Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn that life is a learning opportunity rather than something to be feared Echo chamber thought, attitude We can be said to be living in a self-imposed spiritual echo chamber, if we instantly dismiss ideas about spirituality that disagree with our own.
How can we grow spiritually stronger, wiser, if we refuse to look at new information? Fear , defiance, arrogance , self-righteousness Physical effects: Hearing and vision loss , leg , foot and gait issues, arthritis rheumatoid , neck , spine Change the pattern: Decide to at least consider new options, new viewpoints Ego thought, attitude Feeling that it's always about Me.
Excessive thoughts of pride or self-praise, can become self-importance or perfectionism Sounds like: Excessive statement making or a lack of question asking. Can be thoughts like: I'm so good that everybody needs me; I'm indispensable because only I know what's best.
Can also be the opposite attitude: I'm so bad that nobody wants me or cares about me; I'm useless and I'll never amount to anything Spiritual effects of the pattern: Lack of meaningful relationships Physical effects of the pattern: Bi-polar disorder , bloating How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn the reason for believing that we are superior or inferior and gradually find that the belief is not correct.
This can enable a profound level of self-acceptance based in the recognition that we are all just human, with strengths and weaknesses, sometimes doing well and sometimes doing poorly Embarrassment thought, emotion Uncomfortable feeling that we just got caught doing something wrong Sounds like: I hurt someone and they won't ever forget it, so I can never forgive myself.
I made a mistake and got caught, and others will think I'm stupid or bad. See shame and fear of looking stupid Spiritual effects of the pattern: Creates a cycle of ever decreasing self-esteem Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn the reason for believing it's not ok to err.
Can easily become resentment. Stems from low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth Sounds like: I wish I had your Chronic unhappiness and never feeling good enough Physical effects of the pattern: Liver disease , breast or pancreatic cancer, digestive disorders , hoarding How to change the pattern: Do the meditation and self-esteem exercises, visit WikiHow to learn how to deal with envy Faith attitude Deep sense of knowing that each of us is loved unconditionally and accompanied by the Universal Intelligence through life.
Lack of faith creates fear and dread Fake news behaviour What is fake news and why does it work? Fake news is a form of gossip and a form of lying. Fake news starts as an act of malice against a competitor or opponent, in an attempt to win others to our side. It is sneaky, underhanded and cowardly, but it works. Well, we just love to think the worst of someone who appears to be doing better than us envy , jealousy , and listening to gossip makes us feel as though someone is sharing their secret, insider knowledge with us.
Our gullibility makes us very easy to manipulate, and those who spread negativity and hate, know this. On the internet We see gossip all the time on the internet, and most especially on social media platforms. These are all growing in number and frequency, because they work! If only we could ignore them and not click on them, we could all help reduce this mass manipulation of our time, energy and talents. Check the facts Before clicking on, forwarding or sharing warnings of dangers or scams, check them for yourself snopes.
Before sharing negative stories about others, check the facts. Google can be a help, but we have to be careful. If valid, then by all means, share widely. Just remember to verify the story or threat yourself. Sharing a story or post that someone else verified is pointless, because we have no way to know for sure whether they really did. If the information cannot be verified, then the choice is simple: Can become anxiety or dread.
Fear can be our ally by alerting us to potential danger, but all too often we allow it to prevent us from doing that which needs to be done, and from moving forward in life. If we allow our fears to immobilize us, we cannot walk our life's path with faith , trust and joy. Fear is often used as an excuse for not looking at our inner pain, for example, "I'm afraid that if I start crying, I'll never stop.
This fear can create a need to be dishonest about what we think and feel, and can make it very difficult to form mutually satisfying relationships. People with this fear will seem very nasty, or very sweet and meek. Seeming to be nasty keeps them in control of their relationships.
Those who seem to be meek and mild often apologize for every little thing, whether responsible for it or not. They find it difficult to express their thoughts, their true opinions or strong emotions. They loathe confrontation of any sort, and try to be indispensable to others Spiritual effects of the pattern: Co-dependent relationships Physical effects of the pattern: Sciatica , lower back pain How to change the pattern: Can result from growing up in an extremely controlled or extremely chaotic environment.
The challenge is to learn that change is an inevitable part of life, and then to develop positive coping skills. See Status quo bias. Visit WikiHow to learn how to deal with change Fear of commitment emotion Intense feeling that entering into any sort of arrangement or agreement with someone is an act of weakness and a surrender of power and control.
People with this fear will agree to a commitment with no intention at all of meeting it. It stems from a fear of abandonment , and a fear of losing someone's approval. Can be a fear that the other person will explode or implode in anger and the consequences will be unbearable.
The fear of an angry outburst is often used as an excuse for not standing up for ourselves or for those who are in our care. This fear can make it painful to observe others arguing. See victim How to change the pattern: Belief that we are victims of the environment, or belief that we are "bad" and will be punished with disease.
Living with this fear can create obsessive worry and anxiety that prevent us from finding joy in life. The fear can even become a disease itself, as with allergies. See blame Fear of death and dying emotion Without faith that we will return to Source when we die, we can live with suppressed dread.
A belief in "Hell" can create a deep terror of the afterlife. Coupled with our fear of the pain and discomfort that can often be present when one is very ill or close to death, we can live in a state of avoidance of life, rather than acceptance of all that life has to offer.
Believing that someone who harmed us will be sent to Hell is a form of control , because in effect, we're telling God to condemn someone. It is also a wish for revenge , which ultimately harms only the one wishing for it Fear of failure or of success emotion Can create immobility, keeping us stuck. This fear can make it seem that we are lazy or have no ambition. However, our guide knows the Universal Truth and can show us where this pattern originated. Fear of failure can create workaholic-ism.
The fear of success can create an inability to see any project through to completion. We may think that if we fulfill our life's purpose, God will remove us from Planet Earth, and this could prevent us from doing anything much in this lifetime. If we achieve success, the people our caregivers who did nothing to help us may take the credit Fear of intimacy emotion Can be a fear of having an intimate or sexual relationship, but can also be a fear of expressing self fully. Can come from embarrassment or shame over our physical appearance or our innermost thoughts fear of abandonment Physical effects of the pattern: Mouth, teeth and gum problems , issues with reproductive organs Fear of invasion thought, emotion Extreme concern about someone with ulterior motives entering our space without permission, or that everyone intends to steal our personal information and use it to harm us.
Fear that everyone is greedy and malicious. Fear that one's body has been invaded by as-yet-undetected injury, illness and disease. Fear that our personal electronic equipment computer, phone, etc.
Unable or unwilling to fully relax or trust Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn how to attain and achieve a centred space of peace and calm. Do as the Russian proverb says, "Trust, but verify" Fear of looking stupid thought, attitude, emotion Crippling belief that anything new presents a risk that others will see our ignorance as stupidity, or will think that we're so lazy, deprived or underprivileged that we have not yet encountered this new thing Spiritual effects of the pattern: Unable to get or stay centred if challenged to try something new.
Distrusting our ability to learn or comprehend. Chronic shame How to change the pattern: Acknowledge to self that no one person knows every single thing; we all have strengths and weaknesses, and challenges to overcome. There is no shame in not knowing. Trust the process and above all, trust self Fear of negative energies thought, attitude, emotion Deep concern that failure to live up to religious expectations risks harm from energies over which we have no control, like the devil or his minions Physical effects of the pattern: Insomnia , severe allergies , accident proneness , constant negative life experiences that make us feel like a victim How to change the pattern: Practice meditation to attain a centred space of peace and calm, and then learn that the Universal Intelligence is unconditional love Fear of retribution thought, emotion Chronic concern that our words or deeds will cause something terrible to happen, due to believing in a punishing God Physical effects of the pattern: Practice meditation to attain a centred space of peace and calm.
Then learn that the Universal Intelligence is unconditional love Fear of telling the truth thought Terror at the thought of being harshly judged. Often occurs when our early caregivers withheld their approval. See chronic lying , fear of abandonment Fear of the unknown emotion Without faith that we are children of God, our path can be filled with constant doubt, distrust or panic, of encountering anything we have not yet experienced Feedback loop behaviour Knowing that we have an unresolved issue, but being unwilling or unable to do anything about it and obsessively repeating "I wish fill in the blank was different.
I could change it by doing fill in the blank but I can't because fill in the blank. Repeatedly suffering the same injury, whether emotional or physical How to change the pattern: Knowing why something happened, or why someone has done or not done something can make it easier to forgive, but it is possible to forgive without that information.
Allowing for the possibility that we do not yet understand can enable us to let go of injuries more easily. It may not seem like much, but forgiveness is actually the critical first step to take to heal chronic diseases.
So how does that work? Holding onto old hurts means that we have put them into a mental vault for safe-keeping. Every now and then we open the vault and review them, just to refresh our pain. We quickly lock our memories away again, for fear of losing them and placing ourselves at risk of being re-injured. Forgiveness takes our memories out of the vault as we seek to gain understanding about the traumatic events we have experienced. Afterward, the memories can move to a different location in the brain.
In this new location, the memories can be recalled - and even shared - without re-inflicting emotional anguish. We can choose our beliefs and we can choose our attitude toward life.
Visit Section 7 of this website to read more about free will Gossip thought, attitude Sharing our negative opinion of, or making up a lie about, a person or group who has offended us in order to negatively affect others' opinions of them. Fake news is a form of gossip. We participate in gossip when we watch, listen to or read negative stories about others.
See control , judgment , criticism , condemnation , manipulation , perfectionism , self-righteousness , seeking of truth and understanding. Visit my blog and read About gossip and fake news Spiritual effects of the pattern: Teeth and mouth problems, chronic upper-respiratory issues, lots of choking How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn the reasons for our low self-esteem; then do the self-esteem exercises Grace attitude Tendency to be generous, helpful and forgiving toward self and others does not mean allowing abusive behaviour.
Humanity is held in a state of grace unconditional love Gratitude attitude Knowing that each experience in life is given as a learning opportunity. Placing too much emphasis on thanking God for every little thing can sound as if we're trying to prove something. The Universe knows how we feel before we even think it, so God doesn't mind if we miss an opportunity to say thank you - it doesn't mean we're ungrateful. Saying grace before a meal is a fine practice, but if it's used as a protection against the wrath of God, then gratitude is not the real motive - fear is the real motive.
Read More about gratitude Greed attitude Deep need to selfishly keep or protect our possessions, be they material items, relationships or even simply knowledge. Also, a desire to have more than one can possibly use. Unwilling to share our belongings yet expecting others to share theirs. We judge , criticize and condemn others when they fail to do so - it is easy to see their greed yet difficult to recognize within self Demanding approval from others yet selfishly withholding our approval of them I promised to give you whatever , and I know you really want it, so I'm not going to give it to you until I feel like it maybe I'll even just keep on forgetting my promise I'll just hang onto this in case I ever need it I'll keep the best part of this set, but you can have the rest I need The cost may not be in money, but in personal information.
Providers of so-called free email services may require a cellphone number to be provided "for the user's protection" self-aggrandizement Spiritual effects of the pattern: Constant need for more of everything, chronic craving for an unknown "something" Physical effects of the pattern: Eating disorders , cluttered lifestyle hoarding How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn and resolve the reasons for feeling deprived, ignored or neglected Grief emotion Deep unreleased sadness over what we feel to be an undeserved loss of a loved one.
Losing a life partner can create anger and resentment toward both God and the loved one, because change was forced into our lives. Unresolved inner child issues can be resolved and released even if the offender has passed away, but extra work is needed to ensure that full understanding is gained and that forgiveness takes place Physical effects of the pattern: Diabetes osteoporosis How to change the pattern: The guides are subject to different spiritual laws than us, and do not enter human form.
The guides are entities who have been chosen by God to serve and to assist souls in human form. They are in constant, direct communion with God. Guides other than our personal companion guide do work with us, but the spiritual laws applying to them are different again - they are with us only on a temporary assignment basis.
For example, the Archangels will assist in extreme situations by offering their energy and their profound wisdom, but they do not stay with us for our entire lifetime Guilt attitude, emotion Feeling responsible for not meeting expectations, no matter whose they are - or - Excessive remorse for deeds either done or not done.
Since guilt requires punishment, those with guilt over a past experience often meet negative experiences in the present - not because God wants to punish us, but because we expect punishment. Since the Universal Intelligence is responsive, our expectation creates the negative experience. Guilt is just as hurtful and damaging to us as any of the other negative thoughts, attitudes and emotions.
It can cause us much pain , and can cause us to behave in ways that are potentially harmful to many. Guilt, condemnation and remorse are interwoven, and all keep us stuck in the past.
It is important to remember always that we cannot change the past. We can only learn from it and use it to change the present. We can never be sure what the future holds; we only live now, and only now can be affected by our behaviour. Parents may take on guilt for their children's actions.
This can help no one; the parent suffers and the child fails to learn responsibility. People often lay guilt trips to manipulate and to get their own way, that is, to control others.
See legacy guilt Sounds like: If you don't do as I ask, you're bad. Remember how you hurt me? How to change the pattern: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the forgiveness exercises Guilt trips behaviour People often lay guilt trips to manipulate and to get their own way, that is, to control others. Some people use this to their advantage by laying guilt trips on others to manipulate them into letting them have their own way, that is, to control others.
The effects of hatred, whether directed toward self or another: Hatred creates intolerance, self-righteousness and, believe it or not, shame. If we feel hatred toward someone, try to understand why.
Without Universal Truth, we are left searching futilely for a way to explain why we have certain experiences or why we have certain behaviours Humility attitude Knowing that we are all children of our Creator in human form, in differing stages of development. All are equal in the eyes of the Universal Intelligence. Humans are not in charge of everything Hypervigilance thought, attitude Can occur with chronic anxiety.
Those with this victim mentality become a victim of their own fears, believing the world to be filled with constant dangers. Victims of abuse often unconsciously monitor their spoken words to remove any hint of independent thought.
See fear of invasion Spiritual effects of the pattern: Unable or unwilling to trust or relax, to ever feel good enough, to set aside fear Physical effects of the pattern: Chronic shallow breathing, inability to concentrate, impaired learning How to change the pattern: Practice meditation Hypocrite attitude The media is filled with examples of public figures teachers, community leaders, etc.
We hypocrites love to point the finger at them - we want them to be held accountable, yet happily excuse ourselves from any wrong-doing. Until we change this attitude, society will continue to experience trouble and strife.
As long as we allow ourselves to lie, cheat, manipulate and abuse our power, our leaders will continue to do the same Spiritual effects of the pattern: Arrogance , lots of blaming , feeling like a victim , self-righteousness Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn that we must not hold higher expectations for others than ourselves Ignorance thought, attitude Belief that we already know so we require no further understanding.
Spiritual ignorance is a crippling condition and choice. Believing there is only one place to learn about God closes the door to spiritual growth. Prejudice, hatred, intolerance How to change the pattern: Become open to the concept that the Universal Intelligence brought all life into existence - to condemn one life form is to condemn The Source Inner conflict thought Unable or unwilling to accept a truth that disagrees with a belief system that we know to be false yet cling to, because that is what we have been taught to believe.
A child suffers abuse by a sibling. The child tells their caregiver that the sibling "hates me" but the caregiver says, "Don't be ridiculous. Your sibling loves you. An inner conflict results, along with a belief system that says "love hurts". The child grows up craving loving relationships yet continually finds self being abused Spiritual effects: Co-dependent relationships , low self-esteem , inability to trust self Physical effects: Addiction , obsessive compulsive behaviours Change the pattern: Meditate to learn Universal truth Insolence thought, attitude Belief that we know what is best while our authority figure s are fools who haven't a clue.
The insolent person often suffers from a lack of real self-worth, which contributes greatly to their need to be in control of everything at all times, and to use the threat of a temper tantrum to control others Spiritual effects of the pattern: Lack of respect for self and others Physical effects of the pattern: Nose issues , obesity How to change the pattern: Become open to the concept that the Universal Intelligence brought all life into existence - to condemn one life form is to condemn The Source Isolation thought Self-imposed punishment that requires avoiding contact with anyone who has angered or hurt us.
This behaviour of withholding communication without consideration for, or explanation to, those who will be affected by the silence can be crippling see abandonment , cold shoulder. It can also create addictions to substances and self-destructive behaviours Spiritual effects of the pattern: Always waiting to feel like a victim again, lots of pity parties Physical effects of the pattern: Post-nasal drip , shingles , varicose veins How to change the pattern: Meditate to find the spiritual root cause of the behaviour.
Can begin in childhood from too little or too much! You're mine so you can never have any other relationships or interests Spiritual effects of the pattern: Co-dependent or wrecked relationships, resentment , hoarding Physical effects of the pattern: Liver diseases , some forms of cancer , digestive disorders How to change the pattern: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the meditation and self-esteem exercises, and visit WikiHow to learn how to overcome jealousy Joy emotion Feelings of pleasure and delight that arise from within, especially when we have given unselfish service to another.
Joy can also come when we are doing something about which we care deeply. We tell ourselves that an act of revenge will bring joy, but any act that harms another cannot bring true joy Judgment thought, attitude Forming opinions of others, whether negative or positive, sometimes after consideration, sometimes instantly.
The habit could be improved significantly were we to stop judging our fellow humans' motives, since we cannot possibly know them. It's judgment to decide that someone is too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too beautiful, too ugly - too whatever - to deserve our respect. Judgment is a negative behaviour that harms us all. See fake news , gossip Physical effects of the pattern: All forms of arthritis How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn that judgment leads to other poor spiritual choices like criticism , condemnation , control , contempt Losing one's belongings behaviour Can happen when we're not concentrating on what we're doing in the moment.
If it happens all the time, can be a sign of living in victim mode, a need to live in chaos, or an unrecognized need to be nurtured Manipulation thought, attitude, behaviour Pattern of using negative behaviour, instead of asking, to make others do what we want often because of fear that they will say no. Using baby talk , uptalk or whining, laying guilt trips , lying , asking favours in front of others, procrastinating, threatening, withholding communication. See control Physical effects of the pattern: Bladder and urinary tract problems, kidney disease How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn the source of fear of expressing our needs or desires Martyrdom attitude Letting others know how much we have suffered and sacrificed in order to help them, or to serve God, with the intention of making them feel indebted to us Spiritual effects of the pattern: Habitual laying of guilt trips Physical effects of the pattern: Back or shoulder pain, speaking in an artificially happy tone of voice How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn that wanting others to be grateful for our help leads to other poor spiritual choices like criticism , condemnation , control , contempt Meditation thought Meditation is communication - two-way communication - between us and the Universal Intelligence.
It is the act of asking questions and then paying attention to hear the answers. See also prayer Mercy thought, attitude Tendency to be kind, forgiving and sympathetic to those in difficult circumstances including self. Being merciful does not mean rescuing someone by doing their work for them, because that can do more harm than good. It means being a non-judgmental shoulder to cry on. It means giving information when invited to do so Misanthropic attitude Believing the very worst about self or humanity and doing nothing about it because it would be pointless anyway, right?
See distrust Spiritual effects of the pattern: Extremely unlikely to have close, satisfying relationships Physical effects of the pattern: Nasal or sinus issues How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn that the Universal Intelligence communicates with us Misogyny thought, attitude, emotion, belief Loathing of females or defenseless creatures by males or females.
Belief that they can serve no useful purpose other than to reproduce Spiritual effects of the pattern: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the forgiveness and tolerance exercises Obedience attitude Asking God for guidance, waiting around long enough to hear it and then following it.
Often done in response to repression or suppression of strong emotions, to gain some measure of control when we feel like a victim. Form of addiction that can be as difficult to treat as chemical dependency; however, if dedicated to healing self, tremendous change is possible.
Before repeating any behaviour, it is important to remember that we have the ability to choose. See free will , OCD , perfectionism Physical effects of the pattern: All of the behaviours can be crippling. They can repel people sometimes that's the whole idea and they can anger people a side benefit.
They often end up creating the exact situation we are trying to avoid How to change the pattern: Meditate to identify and resolve the root cause Patience attitude Ability to wait without having any negative thoughts, attitudes or emotions.
In these days of almost instant gratification, we see more and more outbursts of rage - on roads, in airplanes, even simply standing in a lineup. Regarding world peace, many believe that a higher intelligence - either Jesus or possibly extraterrestrials - will bring peace to Planet Earth and save humanity from the brink of destruction, but that sounds a little too easy.
How exactly could it come about? Unless Peace is forced upon us a contradiction in terms , something will be required of us to bring it about.
What if that higher intelligence said that in order to save ourselves, we would have to forgive all those who had ever harmed us in any way, intentionally or otherwise? Or that we would have to share our resources? How might we feel? What would we do? What could we do? Would we be able to forgive one who had harmed us or our loved ones, or had committed a heinous crime?
Believe it or not, it can be done. It takes an open mind and an open heart, but it can be done Cause for hope: Although it may not seem so, the peoples of this planet are gradually evolving toward democratic peace. It's a very slow process, because after all, we all want what we want when we want it. As the knowledge and spirit of universal equality becomes more widespread though, peace will continue to escalate How to build peace: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the forgiveness exercises.
Visit Wikipedia and read about Restorative Justice Perfectionism attitude Inability or unwillingness to accept any person or thing that does not meet excessively rigid standards. When we place these standards upon another person, we are controlling , judging , criticizing and condemning them. Far better to strive for excellence than perfection. We use these standards to gain either our own or someone else's approval whether or not they are present. Can begin early in childhood and is often done in response to the treatment received from our caregivers.
It can develop when a child receives constant negative attention for doing anything that does not meet the standards held for that child by the caregivers, or when the child feels invisible in the family. Always looking to catch others in an error, acne , liver diseases , arthritis How to change the pattern: Do the Tolerance exercises.
Meditate to learn that judgment leads to other poor spiritual choices like criticism , condemnation , control , contempt Persecution complex attitude, emotion Feeling that everyone is out to get us, or is judging us, or is thinking about us see narcissism , self-importance , victim. Can stem from too little or too much favourable attention in early childhood Sounds like: They all think I'm bad Physical effects of the pattern: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the self-esteem exercise Pessimism attitude Outlook on life that says, "What's the point - things will never work out the way I want anyway".
Can begin as an act of spite or revenge. Things will never turn out right. What else is new? Expectation equals result Petulance attitude Childishly sulking to make everyone suffer for not giving us what we want.
See blame , manipulation , spite , victim Sounds like: Then you'll be sorry. Learn about greed , humility , sacrifice Phobias thought, attitude, emotion Condition in which our fear of a particular experience is transferred onto one or more creatures, objects or activities, because that is safer than acknowledging the real cause of fear. Phobias can also develop as a result of having felt a complete loss of control in a situation, such that one feels compelled to avoid potentially similar situations Physical effects: Similar to the effects of long-term anxiety , but usually occurring upon encountering the object of dread: Meditate to identify the underlying fear and its spiritual root cause, as well as the reasons for choosing to react to life in this particular way.
Learn to breathe Post-traumatic stress disorder Can arise after observing or experiencing terrifying events over which one had no control. Somehow we feel that we should have been able to prevent them, or at least been able to fix them or prevent them from ever happening again. The events need not have been life-threatening - they need only have been frightening for us personally Spiritual effects of the pattern: If we feel we are responsible, we can take on guilt.
If we feel others are responsible, we can take on a victim mentality and become extremely passive or aggressive, alternately Secondary Traumatic Stress Compassion fatigue can arise for those caring for someone who needs constant attention, or for those whose job it is to care for victims of traumatic experiences How to change the pattern: The event s may seem impossible to forget, but it is possible to do so.
Visit Section 9 of my website and do the grieving and how to stop worrying exercises Prayer thought, attitude Act of talking to the Universal Intelligence. It seems like we are always asking God the Universal Intelligence, our Creator, the Source of all that is for favours, as if God were a fairy godmother or a genie in a bottle; for example, heal me Saying the words, "Thy will be done," can avoid much needless worry and distress.
Many use prayer as a protection from evil or from the wrath of God. This is not prayer - this is ritual and superstition, which is nothing more than fear that has become habit. Instead of telling God what we want, try asking what we can do in meditation and experience the profound life changes that are possible Procrastination attitude Putting off doing that which one has agreed to do. This is an act of control.
Those who fail to live up to their commitments often have a mate who nags, but will not claim any responsibility for the situation. Hearing , seeing or memory problems, hypochondria How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn what we're trying to gain or create by avoiding doing that which needs to be done Quantum entanglement Commonly known as karma , this system of checks and balances ensures repayment of all favours given and debts incurred throughout each of our incarnations.
Once souls in physical form have interacted, they are connected across space and time until they understand - and forgive - their motives for actions taken or not taken. This information is recorded in the Akashic records, so our guides know exactly what is owed to whom. The system applies to individuals as well as groups, as can be seen in nations that continually battle. Until there is forgiveness on both sides, the warring will continue Rejection thought Dismissing someone or something because of inferiority or imperfection see also cold shoulder.
Used as a punishment when we have judged , criticized and condemned someone or something. Rejection of a person can be a form of abandonment.
Rejection of an idea can be a form of denial. When someone has rejected us, we can feel ashamed of our words, our actions or ourselves Physical effects of the pattern: Meditate to learn that judgment leads to other poor spiritual choices like criticism , condemnation , control , contempt Repression thought Unable or unwilling to acknowledge that one has had a negative experience.
Learned behaviour that can begin in very early childhood as a conscious choice, but develops into a seemingly unconscious reaction whenever experiencing strong emotions denial Spiritual effects of the pattern: Unexpected explosive rages Physical effects of the pattern: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the grieving exercise Resentment thought, attitude, emotion Holding onto a deep-seated grudge against someone who has hurt or offended us can create the habitual need for revenge.
We can even get addicted to the high that comes from allowing our hurt to excuse us from behaving responsibly. Can become a habitual response to people or circumstances that do not meet with our approval.
Check out legacy resentment Sounds like: Meditate to learn that judgment leads to other poor spiritual choices like criticism , condemnation , control , contempt Respect attitude Willingness to treat self and others with patience and tolerance , mercy and forgiveness , because we are all children of God.
We are all in varying stages of development and we are all capable of greatness, or of making terrible choices.
Being respectful helps us build healthy relationships; however, there is no guarantee of receiving respect back. Others can follow our leadership or not, the choice is theirs to make. Failure to ask permission can stem either from fear that it might not be given or from the belief that we are somehow "entitled".
It is a non-adversarial, non-retributive approach to justice that emphasizes healing in victims, accountability of offenders, and the involvement of citizens in creating healthier, safer communities. The goal is to reach meaningful, satisfying, and fair outcomes through inclusion, open communication, and truth.
See abandonment , cold shoulder. It may feel like hurting others is the only way to deal with our pain, but there is another way… forgiveness! However, forgiveness requires and enables us to stop allowing ourselves to react with resentment. Sharing our feelings is a great start because often the offender has no idea that their words or actions hurt us.
At the very least, communication can validate our experience, and it might even open the door to new understanding. World peace will be impossible until we as individuals stop resenting others and wanting revenge. Let us be the one to flex our forgiveness muscle Sounds like: Meditate to learn that hatred leads to other poor spiritual choices like criticism , condemnation , control , contempt.
Check out my blog on Resentment, Revenge and Legacy Resentment Sacrifice attitude Being willing to set aside our needs or beliefs in order to be of service to the Universal Intelligence. We often call it sacrifice if we help someone, even though we really do it because we are unable to say no to her or him.
True sacrifice means giving up what we want to do, in favour of what the Universal Intelligence through our guide in meditation has asked, or not doing something we want to do because the Universe through our guide in meditation has asked that we not.
Sometimes this includes not stepping in to help someone uninvited Sarcasm attitude Words whether spoken aloud or not that are intended to ridicule or harm self or another under the guise of humour Physical effects of the pattern: Upper respiratory issues How to change the pattern: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the self-esteem exercise Scorn attitude Treating someone as though they are not worthy of our respect. Results from having judged , criticized and condemned someone, and our scorn is the punishment.
See self-righteousness Looks like: Giving someone a dirty look Physical effects of the pattern: Visit Section 9 of this website and do the tolerance exercises Seeking of Truth and Understanding thought, attitude Being willing to confront Universal Truth about self, our experiences and our belief systems can lead us to full understanding, which enables us to release the past fully and with love.
When we resent someone, we often feel fully justified in not seeking any understanding at all about the offending person's possible motives or intentions for their words or actions. All too often though, offenders are not even aware that they have caused injury. That's one of the reasons that forgiveness is so important. See Gossip Self-aggrandizement thought, attitude Using others to further self and our own interests, under the guise of it being for the other guy's benefit Sounds like: Making others think that what we advise them to do is to help them, and will not help us in any way.
Selling a product under the false pretense that the buyer will benefit because of it, or will come to harm without it, when the only true reason for selling it is to make a profit Physical effects of the pattern: Heart problems, digestive issues, foot problems How to change the pattern: Do self-esteem exercise in Section 9 Self-esteem attitude Ability to accept our good, and our not-so-good, thoughts, attitudes, emotions, beliefs, desires and behaviours without judgment, criticism or condemnation.
Goes hand in hand with self-respect. Unstable self-esteem prevents us from approving of self unless and until someone usually an authority figure first gives us their approval.
Can be a constant fight with self: If they tell us they don't like what we did, we immediately judge, criticize and condemn self - not only for having done a lousy job, but for having had the audacity to think it was ok.
We feel they have attacked us and we respond with anger, usually but not always directed at self. It's a short step then to a wave of depression How to change the pattern: Do the self-esteem exercise in Section 9 Self-importance attitude Belief that we are more deserving of attention than others, and that everything that happens to us is of the utmost importance to everyone. Can be the belief that our beliefs are flawless, or that everything that happens, be it an experience or even a conversation, is about us.
Holding self in very high regard. Pride and conceit are offshoots of ego and self-importance. Self-importance and self- condemnation often go hand-in-hand, because even though we may feel proud of some of our accomplishments, we may also be ashamed of some of our words or actions Sounds like: Let's talk about me and my family, or friends, or pets, or job, or hobbies, or experiences; anything, so long as I don't have to listen to anything about you. See babble , narcissism Physical effects of the pattern: Chronic flatulence , vertigo How to change the pattern: Do the self-esteem exercise in Section 9 Self-interest attitude Using others for our benefit, with regard only for self Physical effects of the pattern: Digestion disorders How to change the pattern: Meditate to learn the reasons for feeling ignored or neglected Self-righteousness thought, attitude Belief that self is morally pure and beyond reproach, in comparison against someone whom we have judged as being less than perfect.
No one can escape life on earth without having harmed another, either physically or emotionally, whether intentional or not Sounds like: I would never hurt anyone the way you've hurt me - or - God will punish you, but he'll forgive me Physical effects of the pattern: High cholesterol , eye problems , sepsis How to change the pattern: Do the forgiveness exercises in Section 9 Shame emotion Feelings of embarrassment , guilt and remorse that come upon learning that we are not perfect.
Shame can lead to feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt and low self-esteem. Can create the need to live in a state of secrecy about self and our experiences, and a need for isolation.
Often associated with a constant state of fear , even panic, that one will be found out. Can create the need for addictive behaviours and substances. Abused children often have a deep sense of shame, for they can believe that they were responsible for their negative experiences.
Shame is also a component of survivor's guilt Sounds like: It's all my fault and I should be punished. I'm bad and everyone can see it Physical effects of the pattern: Skin problems like acne rosacea , rash How to change the pattern: Do the self-esteem , grieving and forgiveness exercises in Section 9 Should thought, attitude Control word used when telling someone what we think they need to do.
We may think we know what's best for others but maybe, just maybe, we don't. Before telling someone else what they should do, consider how it feels when someone else tells us what to do Physical effects of the pattern: Nerve damage, high cholesterol How to change the pattern: The actions need only have the effect of shocking, annoying or repelling others. Examples in no particular order: The fear is that discussion could even make things worse, if that were possible.
When someone feels so impotent that they have to resort to some form of silent rebellion, they can feel that there's no point in doing anything at all - and certainly no point in doing it well.
They've lost hope that these conditions will ever change, and they've learned that nothing they do will ever have any positive outcome.